James the Conniosseur Cat Read online

  “So did I,” said Helena, laughing. “I’ve got about four months to go, and I didn’t think I showed that much.”

  “You look wonderful,” said Peter. “But I’ve been around a bit and I have learned to recognize that really special glow.”

  James was now really frustrated. He turned from Helena to Peter and at last he patted Helena’s arm sharply.

  “Sorry, James dear,” she said. “I see you don’t understand. Henry and I are going to have a baby. That is, I am going to have the baby and Henry is its father.”

  James still looked puzzled. Helena took his front paw and held it against her abdomen. Suddenly he jerked away and looked intently at a spot on her smock.

  “You felt it, did you?”

  James looked more and more suspicious.

  “Here,” she said, and picked him up and laid him on her abdomen. He was tense. He moved uneasily. He made little movements as though he were adjusting to uneven ground. Every once in a while he would jump a little.

  Helena held him firmly. “What you are feeling is the next heir to the earldom squirming around inside me. The baby will keep growing until it is big enough and then it will be born and we will all see it and love it. Till then, I am its custodian.”

  Helena released James. He slid off her and onto the sofa next to her. He shrugged his shoulders. Then he shook his head. Clearly he thought this was a most inefficient system. He snuggled next to Helena and gave her abdomen a furtive glance from time to time.

  Meanwhile, we had gone on to hear about Helena and Lord Henry’s trip to Gibraltar and their return to Haverstock Hall, where Helena had made many changes, all of them designed to make the Hall a warm and welcoming place. She had happily turned the day-to-day management over to Wilson, who was as delighted in his new mistress as she was in him. Wilson has been the butler at the Hall for at least twenty years. He has been devoted to Lord Henry since the beginning, and it was with the greatest pleasure that he saw Etheria replaced by Helena. Wilson supervises the footmen and maids, who do the work of the house. Wilson is short and round. He can be a sympathetic friend and a demanding supervisor. He regards James as one of the privileged class, but I notice that James never teases Wilson. In the kitchen Cook reigns and a wonderful cook she is. She and Helena plan the meals. Helena often likes to do the marketing as it takes her to the village, where she has been warmly welcomed by tradespeople, clergy and gentry alike. In the west wing of the Hall, Helena has set up a studio where she works at her painting nearly every day. Lord Henry has a keen interest in history and has begun to write monographs. He and Peter share an interest in the details of life and commerce in the eighteenth century.

  Peter recounted his travels, which were many and varied. I reported on my search for a perhaps nonexistent statuette.

  “I’ll bet you find it,” said Helena. “I’ll bet you a pound you find one before the heir arrives.” James had been listening. He tapped her on the arm and shook his head. “Not enough?” she said. James nodded. “Two pounds?” James shook his head and gestured higher. “A Helena Haakon painting?” James nodded.

  “Done,” she said, and laughed.

  “Now I’ll have to get it,” I said.

  “Enough of this delightful conversation,” said our hostess. “I want to get to the real reason I asked you down for the weekend. I want you to make up a team with us to play in the Great Croquet Tournament, which will take place at Castle Falling next weekend.”

  “I think I’ve heard of it, now you mention it,” said Peter. “Viscount Wilter gives it every year just before he opens the grounds of the castle to the public.”

  “That’s it,” said Lord Henry. “Quite a lot of people participate and a great many people come to watch. The first prize is the honor of having your name engraved on one of the more elaborate trophies of the world, but the fun is in the game. I used to love it when I was young, but then when Etheria lived here she would not hear of our mingling with riffraff, as she called some of the players, and even though the viscountess was one of her best friends, Etheria flatly refused to have anyone from the Hall play in the tournament.”

  James’s eyes looked cold. James is Etheria’s declared enemy and he is not fond of the viscountess.

  “Glorious,” said Peter. “I love croquet, and it is one of the few games I can play at my age. By all means let’s enter.”

  James looked puzzled.

  “Don’t worry,” said Helena. “We’ll have a practice tomorrow morning and you will see it is an interesting game.” She stroked James lovingly.

  Wilson announced dinner. We spent a happy evening. At last James and I went up to our room.

  I lay in bed, ready to turn out the light. James was pacing around. At last he jumped on the bed and put a tentative paw on my stomach and looked at me inquiringly.

  “No, James,” I said, laughing. “There is no baby inside me.” James grinned and jumped on my belly. Then he rolled up next to my ear and purred us both to sleep.

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  About the Author

  Harriet Hahn was born in Gatún, Panama, and grew up in Spokane, Washington. After attending Reed College in Portland, Oregon, she graduated from the University of Chicago, where she met her husband, Charles Hahn, with whom she later worked as an editor of the trade magazine he published in Latin America and the Caribbean. Due to Charles’s avid interest in stamp collecting and British postal history, the Hahns traveled frequently to London. On one trip, they stayed at a small hotel that was inhabited by a delightful cat named James, who befriended Harriet and inspired her to write novels about a connoisseur cat.

  All rights reserved, including without limitation the right to reproduce this ebook or any portion thereof in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereinafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher.

  This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, events, and incidents either are the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, businesses, companies, events, or locales is entirely coincidental.

  Copyright © 1991 by Harriet Hahn

  Cover design by Mauricio Diaz

  ISBN: 978-1-5040-0446-6

  This edition published in 2015 by Open Road Integrated Media, Inc.

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  Table of Contents

  Title Page

  Dedication

  Chapter 1

  Chapter 2

  Chapter 3

  Chapter 4

  Chapter 5

  Chapter 6

  Chapter 7

  Chapter 8

  Chapter 9

  Chapter 10

  Chapter 11

  Preview: James, Fabulous Feline

  About the Author

  Copyright Page

  Conniosseur Cat